3 Thing Guys Shouldn't Say or Do

* This might be considered by some to be PG-13. * 

I don't know about you, but for some reason lately I've encountered a lot of...well...boorish male behavior.

Why? I don't know...maybe it's the moon? Maybe it's cause they're in college and they feel like they can do whatever they want? Or maybe they still feel superior and entitled to any woman who tickles their fancy (haha).

Either way, for some reason recently it's been just shoved in my face. Whether it's some comments on Yik Yak* saying "I need a hot girl to hook up with tonight and be gone by morning", a guy I pass in my dorm who looks me up in down and says "How you doing, baby?", a guy telling me that he LITERALLY thought that men were superior to women because men were stronger (hahahaha), or being cat called to just walking down the street (<- that one insures you the finger).

Some day I will post my theories on why BOYS** do these things, but today I'm just going to stick to the basics.

Boys, here are 3 things NOT to do when you see a girl you think is hot or 'bang-a-licious' (yes, that word is a thing).
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1. Cat Calling
I know this might be hard for some boys to understand, so let me make it simple for you.

Girls are not animals. That means we are not cats. Because we are not cats, we do not like to be referred to as such. 

Whistling to a woman does not make us feel empowered***. It personally makes me feel cheap and looked at as a piece of meat. When a guy cat calls to me, it automatically gives me 'rape-vibes' and in general just makes me extremely uncomfortable AND annoyed.  

I'm annoyed because when a guy does that to me, I know he doesn't respect me as a person. All he sees is a pair of breast, an ass, and something that is going to give him 'pleasure'. He doesn't care that I have dreams and aspirations, he just cares about who he is going home with that night. 

So all in all, cat calling...don't do it. It's not cute. We're not flattered. 

And if you do it to the wrong person and they are close enough, they might slap you. 

2. Calling Her 'Baby' When She is in Fact Not Your 'Baby'
One of my BIGGEST PET PEEVES.
Guys, if a girl is not your girlfriend, a good general rule is to not call us your 'baby'.
Cause we are in fact...not.

Personally, when you call me baby and you are not my boyfriend, it makes me what to punch you in the face.
I'm a strong, independent, young woman. I'm 18 years old, about to turn 19. What I am not is a new born child that has just come out of my mother's birth canal that needs protecting because I LITERALLY cannot defend myself.

Now, yes, my boyfriend (*waves* Hello, darling) can call me baby if he wants to. For many couples it is a term of endearment. However, when someone calls me 'baby' that is NOT my boyfriend, my alert automatically goes up. It sets off my 'creeper radar'.

Because if you can't recognize that I am in fact a woman and not a small child, why would I want anything to do with you?

3. Pressuring
Why this even has to be talk about is beyond me. Shouldn't boys know by now that it's not cool? When a girl is pressured to do ANYTHING sexual, they feel used. Unwanted. Unappreciated.

And don't you DARE tell me that you 'really need it' and you can't keep it in your damn pants because you're 'so horny'. If that is the case, you need to be locked away because you're a danger to yourself and all of society.

Don't you DARE tell me that it was just because you were drunk and didn't know any better. If you do that when you're drunk and 'can't control yourself', I'll say it again --

you obviously need to be locked up because you are a harm to yourself and all of society. 

You also apparently don't give a rats ass about the girls feelings either, because like I said before it makes us feel worthless. You are telling us through your actions that you do not care that we are a human being that has emotions and dreams...all you see is the body.

And that can really, really mess a girl up.
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While there are many more things that you just shouldn't do, these are the ones that really needed to be addressed.

If you are one of those people who think that 'women's rights' are all solved and a thing of the past...you really need to look at the world around you. While the US has made gigantic head way, boys are obviously being taught that it is okay to do these things.

And in different parts of the world, women have no rights at all.

So while you're probably sitting there and thinking how annoying feminists are or  that is just another "feminist post"...think of WHY we still need posts like this.
Think of the reason WHY I felt the need to voice my opinion on the matter.

As long as I have to keep fighting to be looked at as an individual that has to fight for her rights because a LONG ASS TIME AGO a white man decided that a woman's place was in the kitchen, you better believe I will be a feminist and I will make post like this one.

* for those of you who don't know, Yik Yak is an app for college students. It's totally anonymous and people pretty much post whatever they want....
which of course is 9 times out of 10 sexual. 
** I'm calling them BOYS because if you do any of these things you obviously have not reached the title of 'man'. You may be 40 years old...but if you still do these things then you are still considered a boy to me (and gross) 
*** Some women might feel empowered by this. But the women who are flattered by this are not the women you want to marry. 

The Expiration Date

Since moving in two weeks ago, I've tried countless times to write about my experiences in college. I literally have 3 different drafts in the vault...but I always got stuck. I don't really want to talk about it yet (though yes, one of the typical "The College Skinny" post are going to come).

Well, after bawling my eyes out for the last hour, I finally decided what I really wanted to talk about.

Long Distance.

It sucks.

And everyone seems to think there is going to be an expiration date.

One thing I've encountered quite a bit while being up here is seeing people either roll their eyes when you say you have a boyfriend, or they get this look on their face that's sympathetic and kinda says "oh honey..we'll see how long that lasts".
And while no one has directly said this to my face (thank god, cause I would have punched them), Ive also heard of the comment "she's going to find someone so much better in college".

Okay, first of all rude .
Who are you to say that the person she is dating is not right for her? Are you her? are you in her relationship? I think not. (BTW, the people in this scenario are now happily married now. So suck on that, nay sayers)

As you're reading this, if you're 21 or older, single or have had a bitter break up, or if you're a teeny bopper that thinks you know everything, you're probably sitting there reading with a smug smile, giving me a pity laugh and thinking "You poor girl, you'll be eating your words soon".

And then people automatically start putting bets on the expiration date.

Here's a few reasons why that's messed up.

Firstly, you don't know the person's relationship with their significant other. For example, everyone fights. If you spend everyday with a person they're going to sooner or later get on your nerves or you're going to have a disagreement with them. So just because you heard of a fight this couple just had, does not by any means mean they're going to break up. Sure, it happens. But not all the time.

Secondly, you're betting on a persons happiness. (Now if the said person only dates for sport and they don't really care if they break up with their boyfriend/girlfriend or not...they just shouldn't be in a relationship anyway. That's stupid.)I know many couples who would be devastated if they split (myself included). And that's just incredibly harsh to hope that kind of pain on them.

Thirdly, you're probably doing it out of your own bitterness. I know, because I used to do it. If you're single or just gotten broken up with, you're going to be understandably upset and that's okay. But don't take other people down with you. Someday you're going to find that person, man or woman, that means the world to you. It sucks that you have to wait sometimes, but it's worth it.

Another thing that is incredibly sad is people also automatically assume (now let us all remember what 'assuming' means) that one person is going to cheat on the other person. Why have so many people given up on pure love? Lust is just that -- lust. It's nothing but the carnal need to have sex with someone. If you're too weak to substance from that when you're not with you're significant other, you obviously don't need to be in a relationship. If you start having feelings for someone else...tell you're boyfriend/girlfriend. It sucks, but it happens.
But just because some do it, doesn't mean that all of us do.

With all that negativity -- there is hope.

I've known many couples who have had to be long distance (one of them being a VERY long distance) and they're now either happily married / with each other and incredibly happy. A lot of military spouses / significant others have to go months without seeing their loved ones...but they still hold true.

When you find a person that loves you for you and doesn't care about all your little quarks and doesn't mind that you literally squeal and repeat "puppy, puppy! I want a freaking puppy" every time you see a dog (...sorry, babe), why would you give them up?

This coming week will be the longest time I've gone without seeing Jeremiah. It's going to SUCK. However, when I see him in two weeks it's going to make it so much sweeter. We're going to have an amazing weekend because we now hold every moment that we get to spend with each other very dear.

So here's to long distance. While I know that this post is a little rant-ish, pretty sappy and kinda sporadic here and there, but I couldn't help but write this. Nay sayers are going to nay say, but that's okay.
If you're like me, you're always looking for an opportunity to prove someone that doesn't believe you can do it wrong.

So let's prove them wrong.